After I put my son to sleep last night, I came down the stairs and noticed the wife had gone outside to have a cigarette. I thought it would be a great idea to scare her. Hey, a man has to entertain himself somehow.
So, I threw the door open and yelled, “Get your ass back in here!” At that exact moment, the three hundred pound security guard for our complex was walking by. I guess I scared him more than I did my wife, he high-tailed it to the exit gate and didn’t look back.
I feel so safe and secure.