After I put my son to sleep last night, I came down the stairs and noticed the wife had gone outside to have a cigarette. I thought it would be a great idea to scare her. Hey, a man has to entertain himself somehow.

So, I threw the door open and yelled, “Get your ass back in here!” At that exact moment, the three hundred pound security guard for our complex was walking by. I guess I scared him more than I did my wife, he high-tailed it to the exit gate and didn’t look back.

I feel so safe and secure.

‪#‎michaelessington‬ ‪#‎misconceptionsofhell


Gangsta Gangsta

December 17, 2015, my son  and I accompanied the wife to the mall today to finish some Christmas shopping. She ended up buying an armful of stuff at a hip clothing store for various family members. Once in line, she said that I should walk around and look to see if there was anything I wanted since they were having a big sale.

Lucas and I wandered around a bit. And eventually, we found a leather jacket for $40.00. I have a couple, so I was thinking of getting one for the boy. I say:

“Nice leather jacket, want it?”

The boy says:

“No, you should get it since you’re the gangster.”

Then he walked off grinning.


‪#‎michaelessington‬ ‪#‎misconceptionsofhell