Father Tim

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Sometimes in life, you meet someone that has an incredible impact on you without them even knowing it.

Midway through my stay at Camp Wayside, a busload of new campers came in. One of these people was a short fifty-something-year-old man with a receding hairline. He looked like an accountant or a teacher. He walked into the barrack and looked incredibly lost and scared. I walked up to him and introduced myself and told him some of the rules of survival. He told me his name was Tim and he did some teaching and counseling in the Bay Area. At the time it seemed vague, but I didn’t pursue it.

A couple of days later we were walking to lunch and Tim confesses to me that he is a Priest from San Francisco. I asked him why he didn’t tell me when he came in. He said he felt he would be ridiculed or targeted and the biggest reason was that he was here. He felt that a man of God isn’t a man of God if he is in jail.

I ask why he is here. He explains that prior to becoming a Priest, he had a drinking problem, but he was able to extinguish it. And go on to become a man of God. Great, I say. But a month before he landed in Wayside, he received a phone call at his church that his parents had been in a car accident and they both died in a collision with a truck. Father Tim immediately drives down to identify the bodies and make funeral arrangements, and to settle the estate. Turns out his sister was a district attorney, and couldn’t get away to help.

I listened to Father Tim as he told me his life story; he was filled with sadness and guilt. The loss of family, and his feeling of letting down God. Then he told me that after everything was settled, he packed his car and headed back towards the Bay Area. Halfway home, he passed a liquor store, he stopped and went in and bought a bottle almost every kind of booze they had. Three-quarters of the way to Frisco he was pulled over for weaving up and down the highway. He was tanked. He didn’t mention he was a Priest or that his sister was a district attorney. He waived his right to an attorney and asked for the harshest punishment the law would grant.

He was sentenced to six months to a year. His sister had no idea what happened to him. He vanished. He called his church to tell them he had to face punishment.

I, kind of, took him under my wing. No one else knew he was a Priest. I told him I was going to let people know. At the time there were a few younger inmates that were bullying him; they always look for the weakest in order to look tough.

I explained to Father Tim, that as he is being punished here, he could do a lot of good, start a bible study group or counsel some of us. The guys at Wayside were receiving divorce papers or break-up letters daily; I knew he could help people through this. After a day or so he agreed. I told him maybe he was here for a reason.

I sat in on a couple of his study groups; his understanding of the Bible was astounding. The one lesson that sticks out in my mind was: the meek shall inherit the earth. Father Tim explained how the word meek has changed its meaning over the years. Meek used to mean faithful, now it means shy or bashful. So the term really means the faithful shall inherit the earth.

Father Tim got so comfortable in his ability to counsel that he forgot he was in jail. A race riot between the blacks and the whites broke out in our barrack, Father Tim started walking back to where the riot started, and I grabbed him and said what are you doing? He said I’m going to talk to them, this is silly. Then I saw three or four black guys coming towards us, I pushed him against a wall, and I took a few shots to the head, then I just shielded Father Tim until the chaos stopped.

After a month or so Father Tim received a visitor. He was surprised; no one knew he was here. It turned out one of the clerks in his sister’s office had run across his name when they were filing. So, she rushed up there. She said she was bailing him out. He said no, he did wrong and had to pay. They went back and forth like this for another month or so. Finally, she took the case to a judge, the judge recommended rehab, and then have him returned to his church. When he was packing up to leave, he apologized for leaving me there. It’s that last time I ever saw Father Tim.

In a place where every street corner junkie is a minister, it was comforting to talk to the real deal, if only for a couple of months. Every other person in the system lies about their crime, but Father Tim wanted to stay. I was proud to know such an honorable man.

– Last One To Die, 2011

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Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Metal Singer

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

In 1986, as I was sort of going into a post-punk Hanoi Rocks stage, I found myself years away from being in a punk band. Cold War, my old band, died back in 1983, maybe earlier, and after I graduated, in 1984, I lost touch with the other members of the band.

So, like I was saying, back in 1986, there was a band playing around Los Angeles that was packing huge crowds, called Voyeur. I was at a party, and a couple of girls came up to me and started asking me about the bands I was into, so I rattled off bands like ‘Bad Religion, TSOL and I just saw Cherry Bombz.’ They stared for a minute and said they had never heard of any of them, but I should check out this band called Voyeur. They packed every club they played. I said ‘sure, I’d check them out.’ As it turned out they were playing the Country Club in Reseda that next Friday, I went with my friend Chris who lived around the block from me.

We parked in the back of the club in front of the Chinese restaurant The Great Wall paid $7.00 and walked in. A couple of cheesy glam bands went on first, then the whole place starts moving towards the stage, it was about 70% women, which was a huge difference from the punk shows I was used to.

The band had cool songs like Kiss prior to 1976, and the stage presence of the 1970’s Van Halen. The singer, Paul Lancia had a vocal range similar to Steve Perry of Journey. The rest of the band had glam-trash names like Michael Hunt and had a cool ‘don’t give a crap’ attitude. Anyway, once you went to one show, the chicks in the parking lot would tell you to come to the next show and want your phone number to call and remind you. It became a traveling party.

So, over the next six months, I went to, at least, 8 of their shows. They were good and fun. Then one night, as I was leaving a show at the Troubadour, Paul (the singer) pulls me aside and gives me his phone number; he tells me he lives in Tarzana, to come on over the next week. So, I called him and headed on over. It was weird to be going to his place because unlike the punk scene, I had never hung out with Paul or saw him anywhere. So, Paul wasn’t a regular dude, he was a rock star who wanted to hang out. Weird. I knock, Paul opens up, and as I walk in there is a really big guy about 200 – 250 lbs sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the wall, I reached out to shake his hand and say, “How are you doing?” But he doesn’t break his stare with the wall. Paul shook his head and said this was his uncle. Like that explained anything. We go into the living room, and Paul hands me a tape of Voyeur’s last show, he had it recorded off of the soundboard. I said, “Thanks,” and then he shows me a flyer of a group called Circus. I said, “Cool,” but I didn’t know what the flyer was for. He said in a very serious tone, this is my new group. I was surprised; Voyeur seemed to be going well. Anyway, Paul had secretly split from Voyeur; Circus was made up of Paul on vocals, Billy D’Vette on guitar, a guy named Dino on bass and I don’t remember the drummer’s name. Paul played me, the Circus demo, and they sounded very polished, not as party-trash sounding as Voyeur.

The guy who ran the Country Club was going to manage Circus and promised them a tour of Japan. Paul couldn’t say no. We rapped a bit more about what bands these guys came from, Bill D’Vette had his own band previously called . . . . wait for it, D’Vette, Dino had jammed with my friend Chris’ old band Harlot, on and on like this for about a half an hour. Then Paul asked, “You sing, right?” I said, “It was closer to screaming.” Paul then told me “You should audition for Voyeur.” I said “Really?” He said, “Yeah, I’ll have the guitarist from Voyeur call you.”

A day or so later Billy the guitarist from Voyeur (not D’Vette from Circus) calls me at home, and says “Paul recommended you for the band; I’d like to come by and audition you.” I said, “Great, come on by.” Gave him directions from his place in Van Nuys, to mine in Reseda.

Billy comes to the door, about 5 to 6 inches taller than me, (4 inches of it was the hair), with his acoustic guitar, and lyric sheets, and the original Voyeur demo tape. I look over the lyrics, and we listen to the demo, and he tells me “Make sure you use vibrato on this verse.” To this, I stare as blankly as Paul’s uncle. I had never heard the word vibrato in my life; I had never had any sort of vocal training or singing classes. I sang punk, no skill used – just raw energy, I pushed my voice through each song with youthful energy.

So, Billy, and I start running through the set of songs he had chosen, and each second I see his expression go from smiling to, almost horror. And I hear my voice crack, and turn into a shriek. Finally, Billy picks up his stuff and says thanks. I couldn’t say anything other than “Sorry.”

Looking back at it now, it would’ve been like George Thorogood auditioning for Rush. That night as I walked Billy to the door, I saw my mom and brother sitting on the couch; they both gave me that look, the look you give retarded kids when they appear in school plays or student presentations. The “poor thing” look.

I find out later, when I was in the middle of my audition, my brother came home from work and heard me “singing” and asked my mom “What’s wrong with Mike?” Seems he thought I was either crying or having some type of emotional breakdown. I was really freaking awful. I have never attempted to sing again, except for my children. My daughter loved my singing until she turned about 5, then she’d make faces, then I stopped, my son, Lucas, when he was three, loved my singing. What a great kid.

– Last One To Die, 2011

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Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Tex Cobb

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

In 1993, I went to a weird little club with a friend of mine, Ed, who was managing a local band at the time, called 13th Love. Ed is a six-foot five black guy, who on first meeting seems intimidating, but was always the coolest guy to hang with. They had just released a CD that was financed and produced by former Vivid Girl, Tori Welles, cousin of the singer, Joe.

Anyway, Ed calls me up and tells me to meet him and the band in front of The Roxy, on Sunset, as the band, except for Joe and Ed, lived together in Hollywood. And from there we’d see where we would end up going. I got there around 9:00 pm in my black and silver smoking Thunderbird; smoking because of the horrible oil leak, not because it was a cool car.

Ed was standing in front of the Roxy on his cell phone, he looks up and asks if I have ever heard of a club called the Sunset Social Club, I shook my head and said no. Ed says it’s a new jazzy-type club that Mickey Rourke has been hanging out at lately, interested in going? I was game.

We got to the Sunset Social Club right around 10:00 pm, Ed whispered a few things to the big guy at the door and we walk in without a cover charge. The place was an old house turned into a club, so each bedroom had a different feel, one was dark, and another room was lit in red with a guy playing saxophone. It was cool. The living room was the bar/restaurant, seating and tables were along the walls facing the center of the room.

Anyway, I’m wandering from room to room listening to different music playing in each room, when suddenly, after 3 or 4 beers, I need to find the can. I look, and look and find myself back in the living room. I look around hoping to find Ed, he’d know by now where the restrooms are, when I notice at a table in the middle of the room is Randall “Tex” Cobb (you probably saw him in Ace Ventura), so I figure I need to talk to him, I was trying to make a living as a boxer so I used to rap with anyone who had a living at this. Tex Cobb fought Earnie Shavers, Michael Dokes, and Larry Holmes. Around this time in the 1990’s, Cobb was disqualified for using cocaine before the fight, as it turned out so did the other fighter.

So, I take a deep breath and go up to him and ask “Tex, I don’t mean to bug you, I think you’re a great fighter, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions?” He sat there mumbling to himself for a minute, and then growled real softly, “Get the fuck out of my face.” In my younger years, this didn’t fly with me, so I said back to him, “What the fuck did you just say to me?” To this Cobb jumped up and flipped the table and came at me, so instantly I took two steps back, put up my fists and waited for round one to begin, that second four or five bouncers jumped on him and took him to the floor, and from behind Ed picked me up around the waist and ran outside with me.

We went to the 13th Love house and the guys were watching an old Traci Lords flick and eating pizza, the night was a wash.

No Mickey Rourke sightings, I never found a bathroom at the Sunset Social Club and to this day I don’t know if I could’ve beaten Cobb. His drinking and coke use would’ve made him a helluva contender; he could’ve been somebody.

– Last One To Die, 2011

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Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Fourth Grade

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Back in 1975, I think, when I was in fourth grade, I engaged in a game of kickball that turned into a “Mike should never be allowed to watch Billy Jack movies.”

I went to school with two of Spencer Milligan’s kids. Milligan was the dad on Land of The Lost. One of the boys was in my grade and the other, who I think was named Derek, was a grade younger. This was also around the same time my mom started babysitting Lisa Bonet. Lisa was also a year younger than me. My mom was semi-responsible for getting Lisa her first acting gig. Bonet’s mom knew my mother was a bit of a photographer and asked my mom to do some headshots for a Barbie commercial. My mom took the pictures of the eight-year-old Bonet and she landed the commercial.

Back to kickball and Billy Jack. One day at lunch I was playing kickball with a bunch of kids. It was my turn to kick. I sailed the ball down the third base line. A couple of kids dove to stop it and/or catch it. No luck. I ran around all the base and one kid, I think Derek, was chasing me. I passed home plate. Then Derek started yelling, “That doesn’t count, you stepped out of the baseline.”

Rather than doing my usual and fight the kids, I asked to see the ball. They handed it to me and I walked off. If you’re going to cheat, fuck you, I’m leaving. I left.

What I didn’t count on was both Derek and Lisa Bonet chased me, and from either side of me, they started tugging on the ball. For whatever reason, I got that Billy Jack scene in my head where he says, “I’m gonna take this right foot, and I’m gonna whop you on that side of your face and you wanna know something? There’s not a damn thing you’re gonna be able to do about it.”

So, the person on the right of me, Derek, got a foot to the stomach, I couldn’t reach his head, and he fell to the ground. Then, Lisa got the other foot to her stomach. She too was on the ground holding her freshly kicked gut.

I started running off with my kickball. Thinking that like Billy Jack there be no consequences (cue One Tin Solider). I looked back and Lisa and Derek were talking to the yard teacher and pointing at me. Oh fuck.

When the bell rang and we were summoned back to class, I was called outside immediately. I was told I would have to write standards, stay after school and then expect a phone call to my mother.

When I got home, I went into overdrive. I thought of everything in the world to get mom out of the house, “We need groceries, I need a book for school, and I need new shoes!” Nothing worked. Then right around 4:30 or 5:00 the phone rang and my mom talked to my teacher Mrs. Forney.

My mom got off the phone and asked/told me: “You kicked a girl in the stomach?” I tried to explain the cheating, I feared for my life and my newly gained ninja skills saved me.

I was grounded. No TV or dessert for a few days. After elementary school, I would completely lose touch with Derek and his brother. Lisa would hang out around my house (no, we never fought again) until the summer after my sixth-grade year. Then she popped up for a year in high school. In that year she never spoke to me. Then she moved to New York to make Cosby and met a guy named Romeo Blue. The rest is history I guess.

#michaelessington #misconceptionsofhell

 

 

Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Grauman’s Chinese Theatre

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Some time back, I had a bit of a flashback to a weekend spent in late 1981 or early 1982 with these “Hollywood Punks” that lived above a liquor store in this little one room “apartment” across the street from the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre.

One day at school these three girls, Steph C. Stef B. and Darcy; told me to be ready one Saturday morning that we’re going to Hollywood to hang out with this guy named Teddy and his roommate. One of the Steph’s/Stef’s knew Teddy from the “scene.” He would be outside of almost every local gig bumming cigarettes.

We got to Hollywood Boulevard at about 11:00 am Saturday morning, and Teddy was on the Blvd waiting for us (I couldn’t tell if he was begging for change). We went upstairs to his apartment; it was four walls, with the toilet next to the kitchen sink. It was like a slightly larger version of a jail cell.

We immediately did a beer run (the girls paid, Teddy was broke). I think I nursed a 22 for the bulk of the day. I wouldn’t say I was straight edge, but I felt a need to be alert at all times. I didn’t know the term straight edge until about twenty years later.

For whatever reason, back in those days, not all “Valley Punks” and “Hollywood Punks” got along. There had always been an attitude with a lot of the Hollywood guys; kind of like they created punk and us young Valley kids were jumping on the bandwagon. Most of the Valley guys got along great with the HB and OC punks, but the old Hollywood crew was sometimes snobby. So, there was automatically a weird vibe between Teddy and me. If I hadn’t arrived with three girls, we wouldn’t have talked at all. But he wanted to hit on them, so he acted cordial.

Teddy’s roommate passed through real quick. Then after hanging out for the bulk of the day Teddy announces that the booze isn’t enough, at this point I’m pretty disgusted by this guy anyway, he looked like a filthy Captain Sensible (with a beret), and right as I’m ready to leave Darcy pulls out this huge bag of pills, several pounds worth in every color you can think of.

Teddy and Darcy start swigging the pills back and they get more and loopier. I get up to drag her out of the joint and they both get real belligerent and act as if I’m breaking up a ten-year marriage. It was like an episode of cops where the police get a domestic violence call at a trailer park, and both parties flip on the cops.

After 15 to 20 minutes of explaining to Darcy that I won’t leave her stoned with some dirtbag vagrant, the two Steph’s convince me to leave her and cut my losses.

The original plan was to return the next day, Sunday, but I didn’t want to hang out with this guy anymore. So, the two Steph’s call me at about 1:00 pm and say they went to Hollywood, but no one was at the apartment. I made some remark about junkies being unpredictable and I would see them on Monday at school.

I didn’t hear from or see Darcy for about four days or so. Then one day she showed up at school with her head hung low. I don’t know if we ever talked again. It turned into a head nod kind of relationship. Darcy was cool, like all of us back then she was fighting some demons, I haven’t seen her in about thirty years. As bad as things got, they were still “the good old days.”

– Last One To Die, 2011

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Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Wild Bill

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

In my eleventh grade year of high school, I’d already been into the “punk scene” for, about, three years, a guy from one of my classes, Bill, got into punk and wanted to start hanging out with the “punk” guys from school. So, one Saturday afternoon I got dropped off at Bill’s house, and he played some music and started pulling out some Flipside magazines – talking about which bands he liked, on and on like that. I started to get a bit bored and was going to head out, and then Bill says “You want to do some crazy punk stuff?” I admit I was curious, so I said, “What do you have in mind?” Bill said “Follow me,” and I followed him over a couple of fences, climbed up a tree or two and finally up the side of a building and onto a rooftop. Once there, I was like . . . now what? Bill then ran to the side of the building and came back with an arm full of oranges. Orange trees were growing alongside this building. So, I sat down on the edge of the building and waited for the show. Bill started crawling on his belly, military-style, until he got to the edge of the building, once there he started beaming oranges at any car that drove by. Now Bill came from a relatively upscale neighborhood in Encino, so the cars he was nailing were BMW’s and Mercedes. Fifteen minutes of this — sirens came blaring. Which made Bill extremely excited (he was possibly ADD or ADHD, which is ADD in HD) and he tells me not to worry he has this planned out. He just yelled to follow him, and we went down a drainpipe, through a school gymnasium, over some other fence and finally into his backyard.

Once we got into his house I asked him what was that all about? He said he was hoping to “Hang out with somebody who down for some real punk rock stuff.” I just shook my head, and asked: “How was that punk rock?” And Bill says “Punk rock is about going ape-shit!” I told him “Bill, I’m not an authority, but tossing oranges at your neighbor’s cars isn’t exactly punk rock.”

Bill was pretty bummed. We didn’t hang out again. About ten years later, my brother and I bumped into him; he was working at a Blockbuster Video on Ventura Blvd., in Encino. He was a funny enough guy.

– Last One To Die, 2011

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Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Walk Among Us

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Back when the Misfits Walk Among Us album first came out I had heard of the Misfits but was skeptical about buying any of their music. I wasn’t used to a “punk” band that was so heavily into their image. It seemed like one big pose. Then I heard them and dug them. Their energy backed their look. One of the guys from my high school, a guy named Al had this record and wanted this denim jacket that I had, so we made a trade. I took home a few albums and Al went to work cutting off the sleeves of the jacket and pinning a few patches on the back and he was ready to go.

When I popped this album on, as is the case with most music for me, the people you knew at that time kind of come back to you. In this case Al. Al was a guy I went to high school with that was also into punk. And with only a small group of people that were into punk at school, you just sort gravitated towards each other. Looking back, it’s hard to say if we were friends. We liked this music, so we, in 1982, became outcasts and because of this we hung out sometimes.

We didn’t hang out often, but when we did Al would show up at my house at weird times of the night with a young kid who was about 12, who everyone called Medfly. Medfly had a real tall Mohawk (Darby style) and always wore combat boots and had his skateboard with him. I remember one time they came by to hang out and listen to whatever new album I had picked up, and Motley Crue had just come out and I had their Leathur Records album, and Al and Medfly were seriously bummed, almost as if I had defected to the other side. So, I popped in a Fear bootleg tape that I had and everything was cheerful again. Al only liked Fear and the Dead Kennedy’s; he had no time for anybody else.

I had known Al for a few months when I came home late from school one day to find Al’s folks, with Al, sitting in my living room talking to my Mom about how Al was lazy and this whole punk rock vibe is messing up his life. They argued that he didn’t have a job; he argued that he needed a car in order to get a job. I just looked back and forth, getting annoyed because I didn’t know any of these whackos and my Mom knew them even less. This went on for about an hour, then both of his parents stood up and announced they were going to leave him here for a week to see if things worked better this way, then they left.

My mom was always incredibly cool to my “friends” and anybody else my brother or me brought around. So, Al stayed in our den for a week and then he didn’t want to leave. He came in one day and set up his stereo and put up all of his posters. I think he was hoping it was permanent. But it may sound bad on my part I didn’t want it to happen at all. I didn’t know Al that well and had never met his parents. So, I ended up in an argument, I believe, with Al – because the week came and went and he didn’t budge. This sort of made things uncomfortable between us. We’d see each other at school and just, sort of, nodded. I wasn’t ready for anybody else in our house, other than my music; we lead a nice quiet life, my mom, brother and me.

After Al graduated, one year before me, we didn’t see each other again. Years later I heard that he would roam Pierce College. None of the students knew if he attended the school or if he was just hanging out there. And even a couple of people that would recognize him were reluctant to approach him because he was always seen talking to himself.

– Last One To Die, 2011

#michaelessington #lastonetodie

 

 

Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Comic-Con

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

July of 2007 I made the trek out to San Diego to attend the Comic-Con show. This was one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life

On Saturday, July 31, 2007, there was something like 150,000 people crammed into the place. It was difficult to look at anything, you just moved along with the sea of people in this kind of a human pinball machine

Anyway, I found myself at the far end of the building trying to find something to look at when I saw the Fox Studios booth; they were promoting the DVD release of Wrong Turn 2 (I didn’t know part two was made). I walked in and Henry Rollins was sitting there. I was blown away. Other than his small cameo in Heat, I hadn’t been keeping up with his film career. He stood up, we shook hands, and I was blown away at how small the dude was. Very thin, gray and he looked about 5’6” or 5’8”. My memories of him somehow put him at 7’ and bulletproof. But he was 46 and somewhat frail looking. I kept the conversation short “Big fan, bought Damaged when I was 14 or 15, and reread Get in the Van a few months back.” Henry’s response was “Cool, thanks.” It was definitely a flashback to my youth.

– Last One To Die, 2011

#michaelessington #lastonetodie

 

 

Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Hells Angels

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Years ago, my dad and I had an argument on the phone one night, and it resulted in us not talking for two or three years.

While this was going on with my dad, I was also not in communication with my mom or brother. After a couple of years of this, I missed my dad.

I’ve gone through this with my mom and brother a few times. But for some reason, it really started to bother me with my dad. I never saw him as being this petty.

So after a shit-load of soul searching and talking to myself, I decided I was just going to go to his house to see what would happen. My wife was pregnant, and I figured a little one coming into the world would be a great reason to bury the hatchet. No calls, no letters, just pop-up. If he didn’t want me there, he could tell me to take a hike or hit me.

But, he opened the door and said “Hey Mike, come on in. I hear you got a baby on the way.” I walked in, and we talked for a few hours and made plans for lunch the next week.

This was definitely a case of us both sulking for a bit and then time just getting away from us. No hatred or petty bullshit. We were mad and then once we saw each other we put it behind us.

It’s a good thing too because inside of two to two and a half years, my father would pass away.

In this time period, we shared a lot of conversations, music, and lunches. One of my favorite stories is this:

My dad and I ate lunch at a little Mexican restaurant called Vic’s on Tampa and Sherman Way in Reseda. I’m not sure if the place is still there. My dad and I probably hold the record for napkins used in a single meal. Pass by our table, and you see dozens of balled up napkins all over the table.

Anyway, we’d eat lunch there at least once a month, and then grab a cup of coffee somewhere, and hit a bookstore, or record shop.

This particular afternoon, we were going to kill two birds with one stone. We headed down Tampa towards Borders bookstore, to read, drink coffee, and shoot the shit.

We hop in the car going north on Tampa, and for those of you who know the Valley, we get to the Pony Rides (near Parthenia), and there is a crosswalk there with no light. Dad is busy chatting away and doesn’t notice the crosswalk until the last second. He stops two feet before these two twenty-something guys. I don’t say anything because I can tell he’s a bit shaken. But the guys crossing the street weren’t so smart. One guy throws his hands in the air, while mad-dogging my dad, and says “What the fuck, man?” The other guy does the finger.

My dad was a tough ole guy and wasn’t going to take any shit, so he jumps out of the car, and says: “What did you say?”

These two clowns decided to be tough, and surround my dad. My dad was 58 or 59 at this time. Through all of this, no one saw my fat-ass in the car. As the two started to get close to my dad, I shot out of the car, and said something melodramatic like “You fuckers are dead.”

One of the guys started to bolt, I reached out to grab him, but he was moving so fast all I could do was give him a kick in the ass.

So, I turned to the other guy, who was now the target of my anger, and said “You think you’re a bad-ass, trying to fight an old man? You fucking punk!” He turns to face me as I have my hand around his throat, with his voice shaking, and says “I was scared, man! I thought he was going to run me over!”

“Bullshit,” I say, “scared people don’t flip people off, or curse people out.” I then lifted this guy off the ground and tossed him onto the hood of my dad’s car.

Then, as I have my arm cocked back, and ready to put a little dent in this guy’s nose, my dad honks the horn and yells at me to get into the car.

I yank the guy off of the hood and toss him into the street. He scampers away like a crab.

I get in the car, buckle up, and get ready to ask my dad how he is? Did he get hurt, etc.? He unloads: “What the hell are you doing?! You have to control your temper! Were you trying to kill that guy,” etc?

My jaw dropped a bit. All I could get out was “No, sir.” But in the back of my mind, I was yelling: I just saved your ass. I did what any son would do if they saw two guys coming to whip ass on one of their parents. But I didn’t say that I just nodded, and let him chew me out, and tell me about my temper.

I told you all that to tell you all this:

In early 2004 I was given a flyer for a Hell’s Angels show, by one of my delinquent friends. I tell my dad about it, as we were both bike fans. Jesse James was going to be showing a couple of his bikes there, and Chuck Zito, of the New York chapter, was going to stop by. So, dad and I thought it would be a cool thing.

We get to the place in Woodland Hills, find parking, and start walking around. My eyes light up when I come across a few parts built by Arlen Ness. Met him, with my dad in the ‘70’s, and he’s been a bit of a hero ever since.

Anyway, after we walk around for a while, we sit down for a minute, and my dad turns to me, and says: “Look, I’m not feeling well today, so if you start some shit today, I won’t be able to back you up.”

My jaw drops, for a number of reasons. First, I didn’t start the shit we were in last time. He almost mowed people down, and then jumped out of the car. Second, if I was feeling feisty, and wanted to start shit, would I be so bold as to start shit at a Hell’s Angels convention?

So, I was a good son and said: “No problem. If I decide to take on the Angels, I’ll leave you out of it.” He gave me a look, and then said: “Yeah, let’s go to lunch.”

As we head towards Tampa, on our way to Vic’s, I give my Dad a glance. As crazy as he seemed sometimes, I love him. Never in a million years did I know on that day that I would be delivering his eulogy in a year.

I miss him every day.

– Last One To Die, 2011

#michaelessington #lastonetodie

 

 

Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell

Manhood

Los Angeles

Los Angeles

Growing up in the shadow of such an imposing guy as my dad, I think my brother and I picked up a lot of his, for lack of a better word, boldness.

You see, my dad didn’t back down from anything . . . ever. I remember hearing a story where an ex gave two black bikers, some money to “finish” my dad with tire irons. My dad opened the door and invited them in. This spooked them and they talked some shit and left. My dad more than likely had a shotgun just inside the door.

Anyway, I had developed my own theory on being a man. I always knew how to fight, and I was pretty decent at it, that together with my dad’s never-back-down attitude.

My theory was based on a guy’s action after he was hit. Might sound strange, but being hit says a lot about a man. Watch somebody in a fight, after they are hit, do they tear up, retreat, or does the punch amp them up to win said fight?

It may be strange, but that was my theory on manhood from the age of fifteen to about thirty-eight. Can you take a punch, and what do you do after you take that punch?

Then something weird happened when my Son was born. I don’t know if I softened or his three weeks in the Natal Intensive Care Unit or the very indifferent attitude certain family members took towards him and I during this time.

My whole mantra changed. It wasn’t attitude or toughness anymore. It was me lifting him past a few crappy people that failed to acknowledge him.

My new definition of manhood was making sure my family had a better life than me. I had created this weird little internal poem, which I used to pray with while my Son was in the NICU. I would repeat, “For every person that fell out of love with me, may three love him. For every tear I cried, may there be three days of smiles for him . . .”

So, have I succeeded in my definition of manhood? Sometimes, life is fucking hard. Sometimes I elevate the people around me, and other times they rejuvenate me. But on the whole, I try to live up to my definition.

– Last One To Die, 2011

#michaelessington #lastonetodie

 

 

Misconceptions of Hell

Misconceptions of Hell